


the weight of the world rests upon weary shoulders

by bexgempisces



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Gen, Hurt Skye | Daisy Johnson, I tried so enjoy, It’s post 5x14 so beware, May calls daisy baby because I headcanon that okay, Melinda May Feels, Skye | Daisy Johnson Needs a Hug, because we never got a daisy gets comforted scene and I’m still mad, before 5x15 in some weird time, but it does need to be addressed, im sorry, mama May and her littlest duckling, may pov and it might be ooc but she’s dealing with a lot, mentions daisy grieving after 3x22 so it’s sad there too, post-torture, self-harm but it’s not really talked about a lot?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-31
Updated: 2020-08-31
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:41:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26218063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bexgempisces/pseuds/bexgempisces
Summary: “But really, May had found her here for the fifth night in a row, and who knows how many she’d spent here before that.“//A post 5x14, May and Daisy comfort fic because for real, why didn’t we get one in canon.
Relationships: Melinda May & Skye | Daisy Johnson
Comments: 9
Kudos: 185





	the weight of the world rests upon weary shoulders

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone, so guess what? Yes, this is another Daisy Johnson trauma fic but I felt like this one had to be written. I’m still mad over what Fitz did and how it was handled and the show is over so we’ll never really get that closure. 
> 
> I actually really liked 5x14 strangely, until the end. I didn’t mind the twist and I thought it was interesting and all that, until the end. Really AoS, you’re gonna torture someone then show us the TORTURER getting comforted? That really spun me the wrong way. I understand that Fitz has been hurt and that maybe it wasn’t completely his fault but the fact that he didn’t even apologise was disgusting and Daisy deserved so much better than she got. 
> 
> May might be a little OOC in this fic but I know how much she loves Daisy and maybe this did happen, we never got to see it. Yes, she calls Daisy baby because she is literally her and Coulsons baby lets be honest. 
> 
> WARNINGS: self harm- it’s not massively done in this fic but it is described kinda graphically so you can skip it you want.   
> Blood and injury: Daisy’s wounds are described including her self harm, incision on her neck and some burst knuckles.   
> Depression: there’s a paragraph or two about Daisy post 3x22 before she left and it mentions suicide watch and feeding tubes a little so beware.   
> I think that’s everything. 
> 
> So please, enjoy this little sad fic and as always, any and all criticism and comments are greatly appreciated. Thanks! -bex xx

Honestly, it was no surprise to find Daisy here at this hour. She was notorious for pulling all nighters in the first place, but especially when something bad had just happened. 

And well, lots of bad things were happening. 

But really, May had found her here for the fifth night in a row, and who knows how many she’d spent here before that. 

The walk to the bottom floor of the Lighthouse had been a silent as May made her rounds. She checked every night she could, just to make sure they were all safe and secure. 

Mack and Yoyo were in her medical room, Elena in her bed and Mack in a horribly uncomfortable looking chair but he’d refused to leave her side. Jemma was curled up in bed, books on mechanics and prosthetics all around her. Deke was there too for some reason, curled up on the green couch that furnished every room in the Lighthouse. She’d question that further but the two were seeming to bond. She still hated him a little, the hole in her leg throbbed a little whenever she saw him and Daisy was still wary around him given the whole slave trading. He’d been well chewed out when they found out about that. 

She can’t check on Coulson because he’d gone off on a suicide mission with Hale even though his health was so critical. She was still seething that he hadn’t told them, hadn’t told her. He’d just assumed they’d be okay with him dying, put Daisy in charge and officiated a wedding like it was no big deal. 

But right now, she had a more pressing concern. That concern being an empty bunk where Daisy should be and a small trail of blood and medical supplies leading to the elevators. 

She already knows what floor to go to. She already knows where she’ll find her youngest agent, now Director. She already knows what she’ll find the young girl with the entire world on her shoulders at half three in the morning instead of in bed. 

She arrives on the bottom floor and follows the sound of bare knuckles against leather to the disused gym. This floor was probably never used when this base was active, it’s mainly records and storage and old generators. But there’s a gym down here for some strange reason. It’s old and grimy, everything is at least three decades old and covered in a layer of dust. 

But in the middle stands a broken girl with burst knuckles and dark circles under her eyes. Her eyes are hard and focused on the dirty bag in front of her, her hands shake as they are pulled back before being pummelled into the bag. Her body is rigid as she punches and May can see the flow of blood on her neck that mixes with the sweat and hair from her long ponytail. 

Her heart clenches at the sight. How did she let this happen? This was  Daisy , the girl she’d sworn to protect at any cost, the girl who’d wormed her way into May’s heart when she’d thought it was closed for good. The girl May had come to think of as her daughter, though she’d never voiced it out loud. 

Daisy’s fists continued to connect with the bag like she hadn’t noticed May’s presence. She let out angry grunts every now and then and her eyes grow dark and clouded like there was a storm in her head. 

“Daisy.” May’s voice is gentle but firm. This can’t keep happening. “You should be in bed.” 

“Can’t.” Is the answer. Daisy’s fists slow but don’t stop completely. Her punches are still strong, but they’re not as fast. May takes that as a good sign. 

“Can’t what?” May asks because “can’t” can mean a lot things. Can’t eat, can’t sleep, can’t go to bed without punching something mercilessly first. She knows them all, has done all the “can’t”s herself and only stopped because Coulson refused to let her. 

God, she misses that stupid man. He thought he was being a hero but in reality he’d left her to attempt to deal with their resident superhero and pseudo-daughter who’d just been betrayed and tortured by her best friend. That reminded her she’d have to go see Fitz in the morning again. 

“Can’t...can’t sleep. He might come back.” May doesn’t need to ask who she’s talking about. It’s what she suspects us keeping Daisy awake currently. The cut on her neck that Daisy refuses to let anyone touch is evidence enough that it’s the reason that Daisy is down here in the farthest away gym. 

“He’s in his cell, Daisy. I already checked.” Fitz was the first one she checked on actually. She tried desperately not to judge him but he still hurt her girl. He still caused her more pain and suffering, was the reason she was hammering at a punchbag instead of sleeping because it was safer than her own bed. 

“I know, I checked too, when I was looking for Coulson. He was pacing and I...I went to talk to him. Didn’t get any further than the hallway, then I came down here.” 

She already knew this had become part of Daisy’s nights. She’d spend hours trying to locate Hale’s base, watch Fitz in his cell, attempt to talk to him, get no further than the end of the corridor before running to the gym or a storage closet or an SUV, where she felt safe enough to deal with her emotions. It was a sad cycle, one May knew wasn’t healthy but didn’t know how to break. There was no guidebook at SHIELD for grieving, tortured Inhumans who have just been given Directorship of an agency that was top of the FBI most wanted list. 

“You can sleep with me tonight if you wanted. It might make you feel safer.” May offers. It’s not like they haven’t shared a bed before, they have on multiple occasions. For some reason, May was the first person Daisy went to when she was scared and that happened a lot during the night. May never minded and after a lot of assurances that she didn’t care or think less of Daisy for it, the girl relaxed in knowing May was there if she needed her. 

Daisy’s eyes filled with tears as she collapsed on the floor. The floor shook with a strong quake in tandem with the girl’s body and May just rushed forward. 

“I...I...it’s okay. You don’t have to do that.” The tears are falling fast and the floor shakes harder but May is resilient. 

“Don’t be stupid,” she keeps her voice soft, she knows Daisy was used to people shouting when she cried, she vowed she wouldn’t be one of them. “You can stay with me any time you want.” 

———————————————

They arrive back at May’s bunk a little while later. 

“You should really bandage up your neck. It can’t get infected, Daisy.” May gently reminds her, again noting the dried blood and slightly inflamed gash on her neck. 

Daisy freezes at the mention of the incision. The room starts to shake slightly until her fists clench and it stops. May notices the wince of pain in her face and steps forward into the girl’s personal space. She pulls one of Daisy’s arms up and immediately sees the cuts on her inner forearm. 

“Oh Daisy, baby,” the term of endearment is one she only uses in times like these, “what have you done to yourself?” 

The cuts are jagged and deep. Some have been hastily bandages with butterfly strips and others have been left alone. They’re fresh, only days or hours old. Daisy’s head is bowed and she looks guilty as she unconsciously drifts her other hand up to her neck. 

“I thought he paralysed me. Or we were in the Framework. Or HIVE was back. I get these nightmares sometimes. I have to check.” Her answer is whispered and pained. She doesn’t touch her neck, her fingers flinch anywhere near it and she tries to pull her arm away from May who grips it tighter. Daisy’s hand is still slick with the fresh blood from her late night punching session, but she holds on. Somebody has to hold on to her. 

“I’m sorry, Daisy.” 

Daisy looks at her with such shock and confusion. Clearly an apology was not what she was expecting. 

“Why are you sorry? I’m the one who did this. I’m the one who can’t keep it together. Coulson...left me in charge and I can’t fucking handle it and this is what happens. Why are you sorry May? You didn’t do anything.” It’s a pained whisper that has May putting her arms around Daisy. She was never one for physical affection but Daisy really brings it out and right now, closeness is the only real comfort she can offer her. 

“Exactly. I didn’t do anything. You’re hurting and I can’t do anything and I’m sorry, baby.” Guilt is exploding like fireworks in her chest at that fact that she didn’t see this. How did she not see this? Five nights in a row she’d watched Daisy at that punching bag or in the command centre or at the bottom of the hallway and she’d done nothing because she didn’t think she could. 

“You shouldn’t blame yourself. It’s my fault, it’s all my fault.” Daisy cries into her shoulder and May guided them to the bed, sensing they should be sitting for this conversation. 

“It’s not your fault, Dais. None of this is your fault” 

“If I had realised the HIVE device was heating up then it wouldn’t have blown up and we wouldn’t have had the fear rift. Jemma and Fi... Him  wouldn’t have had to work overtime and the Doctor wouldn’t have reappeared and this wouldn’t have happened. If I had gone on that mission with you and Coulson then he wouldn’t be kidnapped. I could be a better Director. I don’t know how to do this May. I don’t how to do any of it and it’s all my fault.” The quakes were shaking the bed and it reverberated through May’s entire body but Daisy’s speech hurt more. How could she blame herself for any of this? She’d just been tortured for God’s sake and she blamed herself. 

“Daisy Johnson. None of this is your fault. What Fitz did to you was wrong and it wasn’t your fault. Coulson is being a suicidal idiot and it isn’t your fault. No one could have predicted the fear rift and  it’s not your fault. ” Her words were probably empty platitudes to Daisy, who always blamed herself for everything. 

May is sorely reminded of the time just after Lincoln died, before Daisy left. She’d stayed for three weeks before disappearing in the middle of the night, only leaving behind a note saying not to look for her. In those three weeks they’d put her on suicide watch and restrained her powers. They’d had her put on a feeding tube in the second week because she point blank refused to eat. Coulson found her in the bathroom with a blade and deep cuts in her thighs in the third week. The girl was a hollow shell, staring with empty eyes and speaking with broken words. A psychiatrist went in at some point. He left two hours later with tears running down his face. 

The nightmares were the worst if she remembers right. They’d hear her screaming or feel the quaking of the entire base and take off running only for her to curl into a ball in the corner of the room and refuse any of them near her. And then she’d left and when she came back, it was almost worse. She ate a bit more at least, Jemma still had to remind her to eat at least twice a day. But her nightmares still brought screams and quakes and panic attacks. She was a lot more Daisy, but they’d catch her staring into space for an hour or hiding in an SUV with tears rolling down her face and be sorely reminded that she was still dealing with so much pain. 

And now it was so much worse. Because Coulson was dying and her best friend had just betrayed her and she was put in charge of an organisation that technically didn’t exist. 

“Then why do bad things keep happening?” It’s a plea and a prayer for an answer May doesn’t have. She wishes she could save Daisy from all the pain she’s gone through, would gladly take it on herself if the girl who was hurt too many times already could have been spared. 

But wishes don’t work like that and neither does life. All May can do is try to pick Daisy up when she falls and hope it’s enough. 

“When I work it out, I’ll tell you Daisy. For now, will you let me bandage you up?” 

And surprisingly, Daisy let’s her. May can’t tell if the girl is just too tired and weary to notice or care, but she allows May to wrap her bleeding knuckles. She allows the butterfly stitches and bandaids and wraps on her arms only wincing when a a particularly sore one is touched. But she stops when May gets to her neck. 

“I...not there. I can’t deal with anyone...touching it yet. I’m sorry.” Daisy’s physically shaking at even the thought of someone going near her neck, even May, who she trusts unrelentingly. It speaks volumes to May. 

“It’s okay, Dais. You can do if it’s easier.” May hands her the bandages and wipes and slowly but surely, Daisy washes the dried blood and sweat and grime away from the area, pink skin resurfacing. She places a large white bandage over the top with shaking hands and in turn, the medical supplies around her on the floor shake too. 

“My control is a bit all over the place.” Daisy apologises, when she notices the quaking floor. She finishes on the floor then looks uncertain at what to do. May knows she’s usually passed out at the control centre or curled up outside the elevator at the end of the floor where the cells are, keeping watch. 

May holds out her hands and silently asks Daisy to join her on the bed. 

“I don’t want to impose...” Daisy starts but is cut off by the look May gives her. She climbs into the bed and it is only then that May realises she’s wearing Lincoln’s old T-shirt and Trip’s old plaid pajama pants. 

“You need to sleep. You’re no use to anyone if you’re falling asleep during a briefing.” May warns as Daisy pulls the covers around her. Daisy nods silently, her eyes filling with tears. 

“Every time I close my eyes, I see him. Always on the table or in that cell in the Framework. I’m so scared to wake up and he’ll be there, or next to Ward or HIVE or whatever he was. I’m so tired of being scared, May. I’m so tired.” 

It’s a whispered confession that has May putting her arms around the girl, who feels so much smaller in the little hours of a sleepless night in this small bunk of the Lighthouse. She feels so much smaller than a girl who was accused of quaking the world apart. The Destroyer of World’s should not be this small, shaking woman and that is why May knows, without a doubt, that Daisy could never do it. She feels the sudden overwhelming urge to punch Deke in the face for causing this burden over the girl who was already carrying so much. 

“I will personally kick the ass of anyone who comes through that door. You’re safe here, I won’t let anything else happen. You can be strong again in the morning, but not right now, Daisy. You can rest easy.” It’s a promise May isn’t sure she can keep but she’ll her goddamn hardest to. 

She pulls Daisy’s bandaged arm up and gently lays it across her stomach. She was never fond of cuddling but this is Daisy, she’ll allow it like she always does for her. 

“May? Promise me something?” Daisy’s voice is quiet and sleepy and May knows she’s finally falling asleep. 

“What is it?” 

“Promise you won’t turn on me like he did. That you won’t become what you were in the Framework before you set me free. Promise me you’ll stay.” It’s something Daisy’s asked her before, every time one of them left and came back. It’s a promise she never made before but she’ll do it now. 

“I promise you, baby, I’m not going anywhere. Sleep now, I’ll be here when you wake up.” 

“I love you May. All the way to Pluto.” 

“I love you too, Daisy, but Pluto isn’t a planet remember.” May smiles in the dark, Daisy always sticks up for the underdog even if it’s a small non-planet.

“Doesn’t matter, I love you like it’s one.” 

“I know, baby, I know.”


End file.
